Things that make you go hmmmmm

I posted this post on WordPress when I thought I was going to change everything over there then forgot about it when I decided not to move everything.

Ryah woke up early enough and was ready quick enough to walk with me when I walked the other kids to the bus. We are standing at the bottom of the hill waiting for the bus, playing around like usual and Kristina stops mid-jump and says (talking about Ryah) “she doesn’t look like the rest of us.” Pause, in which whole bunches of things go through my mind. While I’m trying to decide what to say she says “she looks like our Mother.”

Food issues- revisited

Ok.  I have opened a can of worms and spent a lot of time finding a place that I could write a post (out of privacy for girls) that was password protected.  I found WordPress.  Then I had to decide whether or not to move the whole blog over there (a HUGE job) or just link to it (much easier but still limiting).  I think for now I will just link to the password protected posts.  That may change (or it may not LOL).

Here is the link:
http://homegrownheartgrown.wordpress.com/2010/01/29/food-issues-revisited/

If you want to get the password to read this just email me at shimai at comcast dot net --with the appropriate symbols in the right places (I'm trying to be computer safety savvy LOL)

Fashion Show

Thanks to Grandma J's generous Christmas gift we were able to purchase clothes and shoes and other essentials for the kids.  And trust me, they were very much needed, for the girls, yes, but also the rest of the children.  While I feel bad because it has taken me so long to get around to shopping I seem to have chosen a good time to shop and got some screaming deals!!

I laid out all the clothes, to see what I had and get them ready to try on.

The big boys' clothes

The girls' clothes

But first I made them try on all their old clothes and pass down the ones that were too small and get rid of the ones that were beyond repair.  Some of the ones Kristina had (and was wearing) didn't even fit Ryah without showing her belly button.  I never figured it would be so hard to keep kids in clothes that fit and weren't falling apart.  :)  And multiply that by 8.  It is mind boggling.

Elijah is definately my son.  He is in between sizes all the time.  He had this shirt and one that had Lightning McQueen on it.  He couldn't decide which to wear and went back and forth between them for a while then just put this one on top of the other one.  LOL  I can't believe I bought these.  I'm not one for characters (for many reasons (they are dated, they are free advertising, I like to look at the child not their clothes ect.) but he loved them and they were so cheap.  And I very rarely buy anything that isn't on sale.  I tell Keith all the time that he married a very cheap wife. :)

Kristina wanted me to take pictures of all her clothes.  Thank goodness for digital!

Miriam kinda shot up these last couple of months.  The boys are very grateful that all the girls now have shirts that don't show their belly buttons when they raise their arms.

Anastasia kept saying, "It's so pretty!!"

The girls are really into tights (it is all they wear in Ukraine and they got Miriam into them too).  These cute ones were clearanced to 99 cents and I couldn't resist. :)

You can take the girls out of Ukraine but you can't take Ukraine out of the girls.  Tights and boots.  If I had a penny for every time they have asked me for boots I could retire and live like a king in Patagonia.  The boots we got them in Ukraine are LOOOOOOONG gone. Worn out to the nubbins.

Jonas tolerated the fashion show but got yelled at quite a bit for walking in on girls changing.  I keep thinking that Miriam will be taller than Jonas but when I checked them the other day he is still taller.  He must be shooting up too.

Ryah tried on all the clothes.  Didn't matter if they were in her pile or not.  When she had tried everything on she started over again.  As always she was drawn to the boy clothes.  But don't think she looks good in pink?

Caleb liked the new clothes but didn't particularly like the fashion show.  He also wasn't too tolerable of the picture taking. He has really shot up too.  I think that kid is taller than me.  I keep telling him to stop (complete with pushing down on his head) but he doesn't listen.

All these clothes and only one shirt and one pair of tights didn't fit.

Now to teach the girls the fine art of coordinating clothes...

Willy Wonka Junior

This is what was taking over our lives for the past month.  Jonas, Miriam and Kristina were busy with play practices and learning songs.  I was busy making costumes (Jonas' pajamas, 4 squirrel costumes, Oompa Loompa pom poms) and props (4 suckers, 4 paper mache lollipops, the scroll).  Everyone else in our family was busy getting in and out of the car.  We are all really glad that the play is over, for lots of reasons.  But I won't go into them right now.
Being in the play was a good experience for all three of the kids.  Jonas got his first speaking part.  He was Grandpa George and his lines were punchlines to jokes, so he really enjoyed that.  The night we saw it he was really "on."  His lines were delivered right on time, loud and clear, and he got good laughs out of the audience.  He was also a squirrel... well, not a squirrel, THE squirrel.  The squirrel that Veruca Salt chases after "I WANT a squirrel, Daddy!!" 

Miriam got to be an Oompa Loompa.  She was chosen to be the Oompa Loompa that passed out the glasses for the TV room.  The Oompa Loompas got to learn lots of songs and lots of dances.  Definately the best part to be.  Not much pressure but lots of fun!!

Miriam and Kristina with their friend.

Miriam liked the glitter and took this picture of it.  These were the suckers that I made.  The one Miriam is holding is a little worse for the wear. 

Kristina basked in all the attention being in the play brought.  She learned her dances and songs well.  She would sing the songs constantly (much to the annoyance of the other kids at home).  More than once the leaders said that she really comes alive on the stage.  I think she is the only one that wishes the play wasn't over.

The entire cast.  64 kids.  I'm sure the director (who incidentally is a member of our ward and our good friend) is also glad that the play is over for lots of reasons too.

Date Night

Through a strange twist of quirky fate, we were left with only Elijah and Ryah last night.  I couldn't pass that up and talked Keith in to going out to eat.  We chose the Mayan.  It was nice that they have crayons and pictures to color.  The nice waiter brings us chips and salsa. 
Ryah says, "Who brought us chips?" 
Our waiter.
Process, process....
We then proceeded to teach her the fine art of not double dipping.  After about 10 or 15 chips the salsa finally hit her.  "Don't like it, Mom, don't like it."  Well, you don't have to eat it.  But she did anyway, over and over again.
A waitress came and filled up our water. 
"Who gave us water?" 
A nice lady. Our glasses were empty so she filled them up for us.  Wasn't that nice of her?
Process, process...
Our waiter brings our food.  Quesedillas, beans, and rice for Elijah and Ryah.
"Who brought us food?"
Our waiter.  He is the man who brings us food when we eat at a resteraunt.
"We go home and eat supper?"
No, we are eating here.  This is supper.
Process, process...
"We gonna live here?"
No, this isn't a house, this is just a place to eat.  This is a resteraunt.  We eat at a resteraunt and then we go home.
It was pretty funny.  She couldn't wrap her mind around the whole eating out thing.  It isn't like we haven't taken her out to eat before.  We have, once, but it was when everything was still so new. 
But is was also a sad commentary.  First, that she isn't experienced with eating out... shows you how often we eat out. 
But on a deeper level this is food issues popping up.  To be surprised to have someone bring you food without any seeming work on your part.  To assume that the place that we eat has to be the place that we live.  At home, if I am a little slow making a meal I immediately have 3 dark haired girls offering to to it.  Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the help.  However, to not rely on a person in authority to provide for you... is that an indicator of where we are in attaching?  Or is it just the food issues.  Maybe they will always have those forever.  I wish everything didn't have to be so deep. 
So, we will back up.  We had a fun time on our date with the littlest ones, had a good laugh and ate some good food.  :)

Repenting (WARNING: very long!)

I feel like lately I'm using this blog to blow steam off,  get things off my chest and otherwise dump.
Well, things aren't as bad as it sounds when you only read the blog and aren't here to experience it.  In fact,  I have been contemplating the 1-year report I need to write about the girls to send to the Ukrainian Embassy and I'm sometimes shocked at how much the girls have improved.  In fact,  I'm going to list some examples here.  (I'll then use this later to help me write said report--- he he he, busy moms like to kill two birds with one stone whenever we can).

1- Ryah is now talking, using *mostly* complete sentences and, in the last week or so, has even been known to string a thought over 2 sentences.  Sometimes it is still hard to understand her, but I'll take confusing talking over no talking any day of the week.
2- Ryah can write her name and is learning her ABC's.  She can recognise a small handful of them (R, y, a, h being the favorites :)  ).  She still doesn't connect sounds with the letters but is grasping that they have significance.
3- Ryah is learning that there are consequences to actions and is modifying her behavior accordingly.  Time outs are shorter and less dramatic or destructive. 
4- Though at night time she still wears a pull-up, Ryah's daytime accidents are definately less frequent.  School has been hard on this aspect.  For some reason she doesn't like to go to the bathroom at school (or forgets, or doesn't want to miss the action or whatever) and there were LOTS of accidents on the bus (granted it is a long LONG bus ride, but don't get me started on that).  Those have all but stopped and accidents at home only happen when she puts herself in time-out and just doesn't care.
4- Of the three Anastasia has improved the least drastically.  But that is only because she was so even tempered to begin with.  That said, there are so much less times that we have to physically carry her out to the car because she won't come (for some reason her loss of control is often times associated with the car, either going, or not going).  She is very verbal and can express her feelings quite eloquently *with a Ukrainian accent*.   I remember in Ukraine we took them to get their passport pictures taken, I could have sworn she was a devil child.  Keith went in with our translator (Keith to sign, Kostya to translate) and left me with 4 of the 5 kids in a boring hall with 2 lines of people also waiting to get their pictures taken.  She tried everything in her power to wreak havoc: yelling, running, pushing people she didn't know, going in doors, banging on walls, getting Ryah crying, knocking Elijah over, pulling hair.  You name it she did it.  You could tell she was just doing it to get some jabs in.  Longest hour and fifteen minutes of my life.  I actually was grateful that an older lady standing in line finally got fed up with it and got after her (at least I'm assuming she got after her) and Anastasia melted into a pile full of tears.  I finally got a breather.  But I look back on that experience and doubt fills my mind that that was really Anastasia.  Though she can throw one doosy of a fit, she hasn't done anything quite like that since.  She is my tenderhearted, compassionate one.
But I digress. 
5- Anastasia is right on track in school doing first grade work.  She loves it and hates when saturdays come around.  Her teacher begged us not to send her to the ELL (English Language Learner) program because she thought she didn't need it.
6- Alina has started taking on more responsibilty for her actions.  Where she used to go weeks and weeks without finishing her chore (in our house if you don't finish each day you don't move on to a new chore at the beginning of the next week *you need more practice, right?*)  She rarely doesn't move on.  It still takes her all the time alotted plus some to finish (especially clothes), but at least she finishes.
7- Alina has next to no Ukrainian accent.  This can also be considered a negative but right now it is a good thing.  They (whoever THEY are) say that the "hurt child" needs to *give up*  or let go of their old life to be able to progress and move on.  We believe that this is the very reason that Kristina still has a very thick accent.
8-Lying and stealing have also decreased, though this is less easily measured.  Maybe she has just gotten better at it?  Still very much a sore spot.
9- Alina has finally accepted that she HAS to do that homework.  It still takes 12 hours when it should only take one or two (trust me, that is no exaggeration).  For the most part, if we stay relatively hands off and just use gentle guiding, she will stick with it and not melt into tears... too much.
10-Kristina has, for the most part, stopped mothering Elijah.  We sorta took away the need for her to be a mother to the other girls so, like a magnifying glass she focused all that onto Elijah.  Now, through a myriad of reasons (the biggest of which is Elijah doesn't put up with much of it any more) she only does it once in a while.  While those *instincts* are desirable, children who had to be the mother (and she did, in so many ways, at such a young age, for such a long time) need to go back and learn to be a kid again before they can grow up.  This will be a long journey, a very long journey but it has begun.
11- Kristina is making some headway on regulating her feelings.  For instance, the other day she got into trouble (I can't remember why, right now) and she threw her usual fit, said all the mean things she could think of ("you guys are awful," "I don't want to live here anymore!" "I want to go home to Ukraine!" "You make us do CHORES!" "My California family was lots nicer!") then went into her room and slammed the door.  In the past, at this point she would have come back out with her bags all packed and hollering that she would go stay with ___________ (whatever friend she could think of) because she would be happier there.  All the while hitting or kicking anyone who got near her.  But this time she only took about 10 minutes and came out with her sewing machine wanting help to get it going (as if nothing ever happened :) -- see previous post).  AND *this is the big part*  she allowed me to touch her and reaffirm to her that we wanted her in our family and that we loved her.  She really is letting go, slowly, yes, but letting go nonetheless.
12- Kristina is starting to accept our place as the heads of the family.  Though she still argues to the death when she starts to argue (even when she knows she is wrong), we have noticed there are times when she chooses not to argue and will just back off.  Big improvement!!
13- Church is so much more pleasant than it used to be.  Because we laid down the rules (at least I like to believe it was soemthing we did LOL) they will now sit still for most of Sacrament meeting with minimal annoying of each other (and us, and the people in front of, behind or next to us).  They all open hymnbooks and (at least try to) sing along.  Some of them will even pipe up with something they learned in Sacrament when we go around in the car on the way home.  And more importantly they have a strong desire for things of God.  They (most of the time) will bring their scriptures, sing bits and pieces of primary songs they remember, and they have no qualms about praying or giving a talk in primary.  Kristina and Alina (after much pleading on their part and me sitting with them to figure out exactly what they wanted to say) even got up in Sacrament meeting and bore their testimonies.  We have been blessed this way to not have them fight against learning the things of God.
14-  They won't stop growing.  None of them have shirts that don't show too much belly when they raise their arms.  I'm having a really hard time keeping them in clothes that fit.  Get a little nutrition down them and they shoot up.  I know it doesn't sound like I believe it, but it really is a good thing!
15- This isn't so much about them as it is about Keith and I.  Or maybe mostly me.  We are really seeing the fruit of our labors (and it has been labor sometimes LOL) with figuring out when to push and when to not, what things work and what things don't, what behaviors to come down one, what ones to let slide.  While we also still have a long way to go, these successes allow us to open up that much more and let them get closer to us as well.  Because you know that is also a two way street.  You can't just give and give and give forever, you need to have some *rewards* or it becomes impossible to push on.
While this whole adoption experience has proven to be extremely difficult, it is also been very rewarding.  We know we were led (every step of the way, if you haven't heard our story, just ask, but make sure you have a couple hours to kill) to the girls, that Heavenly Father planned for them to be in our family.  We really are grateful to be a part of all that.  We can't imagine life without them.  We love them so much!
We are also grateful to all of you who have supported us (even though you may have thought us crazy).  It does take the proverbial village to raise a family and ours is no exeption.

And because you made it all the way to the end of this post, I was going to reward you with some pictures.  However, a quick look at the gallery revealed that we need to fire our photographer and hire a new one.  I'll post a couple of what we do have.

Jonas, in an effort to channel the nervous energy indicative of kids the school-free week before Christmas, built this Santa Claus out of legos.  It really looks like the jolley red man.  I told him President's day was coming up and I was expecting a likness of Abraham Lincoln.  I was then promptly told that I needed to go out and buy more black legos.

This is from our resident photographer in training, Elijah.  Something about this grabs me.  :)   A rare occasion when Alina actually has her glasses ON and they are actually clean enough to see through.  :)

Hopefully, by next post the school play, selling girl scout cookies and sickness will all be over so the photographer can try to make amends and win her position back.

Waxing literary-ic?... literish?...verbose? Whatever!

In tenth grade English we were studying satire and read the Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Beirce. Then we had an assignment to come up with our own satirical definitions of 25 words. One of the ones that I did (and I'm sure a lot of people did this one) was Marriage- the leading cause of divorce. You get the idea.

Well, these aren't exactly like that but not completely unlike it either.

Without any more fan fare I bring you "Ukrainian Devil's Dictionary"

adoption= "I like lots of kids. Can we got to Ukraine and buy some more?!?!"

Crisme= A big holiday at the end of the year where you get presents

fahzzer= a male parent (be he adopted or that other thing)

litter= not big

Mnyummy= what you say when things taste good

muzzer= female parent (see fahzzer)

nakey= without clothes (as in "Elijah is nakey, running down the street")

noah= opposite of yes

pencils= those snack foods that are twisted into a cool shape and sometimes you can dip them in chocolate

plass= what you do when you hand someone the food

spleeping= what you do in bed at night

wa koom= what you use to clean the floor

za= the (as in please plass za salt)

Become like little children...

Keith and I have our small stack of favorite movies that we watch whenever we can't figure out what else to watch (and conseuqently have watched each one them loads of times).  One of those movies is Ever After, the Cinderella story with Drew Barrymore.  There is a scene in this movie where the Prince knocks on the door and she opens it and calmly and sweetly proceeds to woo him.  After they leave it shows her house help crashed out on the stairs, huffing and puffing with all her "servant girl" attire scattered around them.  Effectively showing you the mad dash they went through to get her dressed up in time for the Prince to knock on the door.
This scene pops into my mind, oh, so much.
Not because I have to impress a Prince.  (I already have mine, and he was impressed at least once).
But because I can sooooo relate to those exhausted, stressed out, helpers who are left to clean up after her.
Take, for instance, Kristina.  She NEVER gets homework, never.  And one day she does.  She spent the whole time from school until bedtime, whining and crying, screaming and yelling, ranting and moaning, about this homework.  "This paragraph (a small paragraph) is too looong", "This question doesn't make sense."  "It is too hard." "You're not listening!!!" "I caaaaaaaaaaaan't."  For four long hours.  And, no, she can't take a break, she had to "GET THIS DONE!!!!!!!!"  Four VERY long hours.  And then suddenly, she puts a period on the last sentence (the prince comes) and she goes on her merry way, happy as a clam.  While I'm left on the stairs exhausted, panting, and with a huge headache, very grateful that she DOESN'T get homework every week.
Or there was the time Ryah was throwing a fit, the reason for which is as elusive as a santa sighting, in the Walmart parking lot.  Scream, scream, scream, scream.  Scream, Scream, Scream, Scream, SCREAM!!  Ryah, what is the matter?  Scream, scream, scream, scream. What happened?? Scream, scream, scream, scream.  I don't know what that means, Ryah.  Scream, scream, scream, scream.  You have to calm down so I can help you.  Scream, scream, scream.  I wanna calm down,  I WANNA CALM DOWN!!  Scream, scream, scream, scream. I WANNA CALM DOWN!!  Scream, scream, scream, scream. I WANNA CALM DOWN!!    Finally after 30 or 40 minutes of this she (for whatever reason) calms down, like turning off the faucet, and climbs in the car her same bubbly, talkative self, leaving me exhausted, dealing with passersby (who think I'm killing my child), breathless, and with a headache, wondering what in the world set that off.
These I could go on about these type of situations with only the girl (it seems to rotate through them), the place and the reason changing, for a baffling amount of time.   The scenarios are always the same.  They throw some kind of fit, I try to help them through it, they calm down and go off as if nothing has happened and I'm left to pick up the pieces.  Why, oh why, can't I just let it go like they do? 

Poor Jonas

I think we are going to scar him for life...
Ok, remember a while back Jonas had that bad reaction to his allergy shots? The one we narrowly avoided going to the hospital with?
Ya, well, a myriad of dr appointments and lots of medicines later we think we got it figured out and he was back to getting shots (still only once a week, though).
Well, today, after another routine allergy shot, he had another reaction. This time he decided to wait until he was in the car on the way to school (which was AFTER the 30 minutes- which they bumped up from 20 minutes). Since he and Keith was closer to the school and he doesn't have a nebulizer in his car he stopped there and had back to back treatments. Then took him back to the doctor. After another, different kind of treatment and a steroid shot the doctor declared him ready to go back to school.
Where was I during all this????
At another doctor's getting testing done to see what I'm allergic to. And now I know where Jonas gets it. I'm allergic to almost every kind of tree, grass, and weed known to man (and probably a few NOT known to man) and most animals. Guess I'll be joining he and Keith in getting the shots.
And Jonas? Jonas is tired and has a headache but so far seems to be staying at school.

Happy New Years to all!!

Since we are starting to get "coping" behaviors popping up we cancelled all our plans for yesterday and decided to stay home. Because even good stimulation is stimulation. Other than Ryah, who has reverted quite severely, the girls have been pretty tolerant the the holiday crazies. But it was time to tone it all down several notches.

We have been promising the girls (well, everyone) that we would make veryniki (don't even ask how to spell that-- like Japanese it is all just "best guess" spelling of words spelled with a different alphabet, anyway). Veryniki is Ukrainian "dumplings." Though, in my mind, that word doesn't really fit, it is close. Inside veryniki you can put anything. However, traditionally tthe most common ones are: cabbage (pickled or plain) veryniki, mushroom veryniki, cottage cheese veryniki, cherry veryniki and all different kinds of meat veryniki. We lived on veryniki when we were in Ukraine. That is the reason that Elijah calls diaper cream, "sour cream." LOL
Anyway, we had quite a production line going. The kids all had a blast!

We had potato filling (potato, onion, salt and pepper).

mushroom filling (mushrooms, onions, garlic)

cabbage filling (cabbage, carrots, onion, and egg)

We also had cottage cheese filling but we didn't get a good picture of it. It had cottage cheese and bacon. Not like the cottage cheese ones we had in Ukraine. Those were sweet but we couldn't find a recipe for the sweet ones.

The finished product.

The first ones the kids did got to be very soggy and stuck together so rather than waste all that food Keith made "bubble and squeak" out of it. Though it wasn't Boxing Day they still tasted yummy!



Nice way relax and now we have veryniki to pull out of the freezer whenever we are feeling homesick for Ukraine.