This one is a book-- begin at your own risk

January 26, Monday
We got up about the time our facilitator returned. We ate breakfast of granola and yogurt while he freshened up. Then we headed to the orphanage. We took the hats and scarves and donation and went straight to the director’s office. The Cox’s told us that they had seen before and after pictures of the orphanage under her direction and it was amazing the difference. I am very grateful for her efforts because thanks to them our girls have been in the best orphanage and had the best situation they could have without actually having a family. As you walk in the front door there are a group of pictures on the wall and they are of when the president of Ukraine came to visit her orphanage because it had improved so much.
I don’t know how much it had improved but I’ve been very impressed about many things there. The physical appearance is very bright and cheery and VERY clean. The caregivers are kind and caring. I have only heard one raise her voice once. The routine is straightforward and all the children know it and follow it (even the cute little two year old). The director seems to know each child AND they know her.
Anyway, at the director’s we offered the hats and scarves and money. She was very grateful. She told us to take the hats and scarves to our group and whatever they don’t use or don’t fit will be passed around to other groups.
She then asked about the girls. We told her that we felt we were building a relationship with each of them in their own way. She asked specifically about K because, she said, K had a really hard time adjusting when they went to California. Wish we had known that. Our facilitator told her that we had been warned about R. And she said that R adapts easily but K doesn’t.
We had forgotten Elijah’s little backpack that we usually take with us so we didn’t have our photo album to show her. Arghhh,
Then we went to see the girls. Of course, the oldest two were in school so we played with the younger ones. The caregiver (our favorite one) said that K told her she didn’t want to go, while all the others said they did. We had our facilitator ask her what she thought we should do to help that. She said we could bring gifts- maybe something for school or sweets- she likes computers, too.
At noon we came back to the apartment to get the photo album- to show the director and the computer with computer games. Luckily, I had thought to bring some for Elijah. One of them was a pre-school one that we used for K. We went back, set up the computer and waited for the older ones to get back from school. While we waited the caregiver offered us lunch. It was delicious! Borsch, bread, meat dumplings, something pickled (reminded me of Japan) and a fruit drink/ soup of some sort that I couldn’t get to because there was soooo much other food. Keith said it was good and sweet. Another testament to how well they have been treated there. I was impressed, they all ate what they could then immediately began to clean up. A2 and another boy went into another room and came back with an apron on and a scarf in their hair and cleaned off the uneaten food onto a plate, stacked the all the dishes and carried them into the other room to be washed. Then each child picked up their placemat and put them in a stack on the window sill. Even the two year old knew the routine and although she was slower than the rest she followed it. Wish I had that kind of discipline at our house!!! We’ll have to work on that to keep the girls’ routine.
When they came they immediately crowded around the computer but then left. I wondered where they had gone. But back to the routine, they had to go in and eat. Then they rushed out and crowded around the computer. Everyone but our girls were quickly and quietly ushered out. A1 and K took turns playing the game until the social worker came. When it was A1’s turn K hovered over her and would sneak her hand in every once in a while. Hmmmmm Sounds a little like Caleb .
Anyway, the social worker came and she, the director and a man took all the girls in the kitchen. While they were there our facilitator said “I don’t think that is fair for them to bring the prosecutor with them to this meeting.” Ok, now we are really worried. About 2 minutes after they go in A2 comes out to play, then A1. Then the prosecutor comes out and says he wants to ask me (Mama) some questions. Let’s see if I can remember them all.
He asked about our family so I showed him my photo album (again with the photo album). I explained about each person and page.
“Why adoption? Why 4 more children?” We have always wanted a big family. We lost 2 babies and pregnancy continues to become more risky so we wanted to adopt. We had heard that Ukraine doesn’t split up sibling groups and we wanted to provide a home for a sibling group. “Do we have finances to take care of 8 children?” Yes we make --- a year. “I don’t know about American money.” A social worker in our state has looked over our finances and found that it was sufficient. “Some people come to adopt one or two kids and get roped into adopting more. Is that the case here?” No, we were shown 4 sibling groups at the SDA and these girls are the ones we chose. “Are we concerned about our children at home? Have we heard that K had TB?” Yes, they told us that in the first meeting and no, we aren’t concerned as it has been treated. “You only have one girl at home, how will you raise 4 more girls?” It will be an adjustment, any big change is. But we have a great support group. “How old is your oldest?” Caleb is 12 and he is a big help at home… they all are. (Looking at the album) “How do your parents feel about you adopting?” They are very supportive as well as our brothers and sisters. (It felt really good to be able to say that, by the way, Thank you all!!!) “They all look so happy.” We have our problems like any family but we get a long. I wish I had said something about our beliefs here, .
He then told me that the album looked very professional and asked if I had made it. Yes, I made it. Thank you, that makes me feel good. That is very nice of you to say.
I’m sure he asked me other questions but I can’t think of them right now. He then said “thank you” and got up to leave. Just before he walked out the door he turned around and said “I probably won’t see you again, other than in court, so take good care of the girls.”
Success, I guess. I guess that means that K said yes? I felt like we were trying to bribe her with the computer. But the more I think about it the more I think it was a good thing. Without the opportunity to really spend time with her (ie. In a home situation) we wouldn’t be able to build a good relationship. And because we use computers a lot at home it gave her a taste of our life. Maybe I’m trying to justify it. But as we were leaving she gave me a really long hug, much longer than she had ever previously. So maybe in her mind she had made the decision to come and it was more than just the computer.
So, we went back to the apartment to wait for a half an hour, while the director wrote up whatever paperwork she was to do. We had bread, cheese, and water (the kids at the orphanage eat better than we do. ) and went back to pick up the papers. Then another taxi to the social worker’s office. Elijah fell asleep while we were waiting in the hall. Then we walked down the street to find a place to buy a modem. YEAH!!! Connection to the internet!! To family!!! But no such luck. We found a place, even chose a modem, but their computer wasn’t working so we need to go back tomorrow. There has to be SOME purpose for us not being able to hook up for so long, but what could it be?
We were getting pretty low on grivna, so we stopped in at a bank. The exchange rate is 8.1 grivna to a dollar. We haven’t exchanged money since that first day when we exchanged with Vanya. That was $200, that we exchanged with him and it has been a week. We exchanged more than that this time, anticipating buying a modem and paying court fees. Anyway, since we were in that area we went to the big grocery store. In addition to the groceries, we bought some goodies to take to the girls, cookies, chocolates, hairbrush set with hair things, a couple puzzles and some balloons. Elijah slept this whole time and when we got back to the apartment we took his temperature. 100.4 So we gave him some medicine and made plans for tomorrow without him or myself. Hopefully it turns out to be nothing.